I have now reached the age where I can no longer open a jar without looking like I’m about to bust a bloodvessel and swearing profusely.

Add to that putting socks on without huffing and puffing, or look in a bathroom mirror without reflexively sucking in the gut.

This Government is surely being scripted by Armando Iannucci. Likely never watched a rugby match in her life and certainly doesn’t know there are 2 codes.

Just when I had given hope of anyone being able to lay any punches on this miserable, inept and corrupt British Government, step forward Mick “The Hood” Lynch.

Loving his patient, logical takedowns of the tired, predictable arguments of the right wing press and copy and paste Government ministers. Absolutely handed their arses to them and – I can only hope – the start of a full-on workers revolt.

No doubt the hacks will be going through his bins thoroughly to find some dirt, but the damage is already being done.

I can only hope his common sense message about the fallacy of making huge profits while cutting wages leads to a seachange in people’s thinking. Time to wake up from the Murdoch brainwashing and take action!

And yes Duchess, this is me being political!

First bit of home improvement in a while – I was making the bathroom damp with my epic showers so I’ve had a hat fitted on the shower.

Seems to be working well so far, no need for the extractor fan and the mirror isn’t steamed up when I get out of the shower.

I’m not sure what’s annoying me the most about Super League right now – the annoying drummers in the crowd, or the biased referees.

St. Helens seem to have a 14th player on the pitch at times, especially when they (or Wigan or Warrington) play a Yorkshire side.

I’d switch to the NRL if the NZ Warriors weren’t so consistently crap.

First in a limited series of unsolicited pearls of wisdom offered by homeless guys riding past on a bike :-

“Try Burger King – it’s 15% dearer but it’s real food!”

Join us again soon for more valuable nuggets.

Due to NZ copywrite laws I cannot tell you what I had for breakfast this morning. I can only confirm that it was a type of wheat-based affair in a biscuit format.

Last week on the dog walk I encountered a youth subculture I’d only read about – siren boys.

https://www.nzherald.co.nz/kahu/auckland-music-siren-battle-subculture-growing-through-social-media-influence/6PVNZG2ZB5DV5UT4QEXM7JRPHU/

In a nutshell it’s kids mounting speakers to their bikes to play highly amplified music. Apparently they’re the scourge of sports venues as they keep breaking in and nicking their PA systems.

Thankfully this crew were on a quiet street in an industrial area rather than outside the house, as they were producing some amazingly loud sounds, in short 5 to 10 second blasts. It looks as though friends were positioned a distance away (probably 50 or so yards) and measuring the decibel levels and checking sound, as success is in quality as much as volume.

The nerdy part of me wanted to go and ask them more about the rigs they had put together. The anxious part of me that gets triggered by noise pollution wanted to take a baseball bat to their bikes. Thankfully the cowardly part of me had the casting vote and we left them well alone.