The Prep

Had arranged tickets for a solo trip to see the Oldies back in May, timed for early October to give the Covids chance to die down and for The Duchess’ health to pick up enough that I could cruelly abandon her (and the furbaby) for a couple of weeks.

Slowly I got everything lined up :-

• Many weekends were taken up batch cooking and vacuum sealing a dozen or so home-cooked meals to supplement a cupboard full of cereals, soups, beans – even an emergency Fray Bentos pie.
• Soy milk was purchased. So much milk.
• Batteries were swapped out on smoke alarms, wireless mice and remote controls.
• The dogmobile was serviced, cleaned and filled with fuel.
• Friends were lined up to keep an eye on The Duchess for me and help with any dog walking or shopping on days where Lord Sjogren might raise his ugly head.

I managed to get my work project over the line just in time, with an extension set up so I have something fresh to come back to. Yabba Dabba Doooo!

The Journey

Rushed out of the house with quick hugs before anyone could get too emotional, with a lift down to the airport thanks to The Boy Genius

Had been far too cautious with my timing as usual and found myself kicking around at Wellington Airport for 3 hours before setting off. Eejit I am.

Quick hop to Auckland though flight was delayed by 30 minutes which resulted in a panicked run between terminals to reach the transatlantic flight, which I only discovered was also delayed on reaching the gate (thanks for nothing, notice board guy).

Managed the break the shoulder strap on the hand luggage during the sprint meaning I had to carry it – carefully monitoring the slowly growing tear in its side – for the remainder of the journey.

Lengthy 11.5hr flight to Los Angeles in Air NZ Premium Economy – less claustrophobic cabin with better loos (bigger than the bathroom in our Hessle house) and nicer food, though only marginally better seating. Short spells of snoozing broken up with podcasts and TEDX talks.

Hellish hour queuing to get through customs in LAX, shuffling backwards and forwards across the hall in stifling heat which made it too uncomfortable to keep wearing my mask. Ominous signs suggested they’d take any meat products off you through so chomped on as much of my dust-dry beef sandwich as possible while kicking my disintegrating baggage in front of me.

Got my Covid International Passport and “I’ve been jabbed honest guv” form the CDC website sternly warns you to have to hand, reached the counter not to be asked for any of it. Thanks for that! They did however take a nice snapshot of a knackered, sweaty Yorkshireman with cheeks pouched with beef sandwich clutching the tattered remains of a bag. Oh and my sweaty fingerprints.

The rucksack must have almost given up on me at the baggage carousel, it was practically tapping at its watch. Yes I know! We only have an hour before the next flight takes off! So much for having chance to mooch around LAX for several hours…

Found my way to Departures and said a tearful goodbye to the rucksack again (already labelled so no need to do the check in thing) then through another security check – a dog scan not seemingly bothered by beef sandwiches, then a bag scan manned by the kind of officious, rude pricks that gravitate to that specific job. A brisk walk to the departure gate and onto the next flight.

Virgin Atlantic flight to Heathrow – 9.5 hrs – and another Premium Economy cabin. Seating not quite as nice but great service and nice food, found a second wind so didn’t feel the need to sleep. Watched the latest Minions film followed by Elvis (thank you very much). Both pretty good.

Quicker trip through customs at Heathrow thanks to e-Passports, then smooth sailing through baggage reclaim to Underground station for express to Paddington, then tube train – just a smelly and rundown as I remember them – to Kings Cross.

At last a break for a couple of hours. After a squizz around the funky new station layout – totally unrecognisable from even 4 years ago – I headed up to the upstairs pub for an Ice Cold In Alex moment, savouring a lovely cold pint on a surprisingly warm Autumn day.

Hull Trains direct from Kings Cross with reserved seat in direction of travel, but also hot so had to take mask off. Pretty busy and full of people speaking that lovely Yorkshire dialect I’m stuck with – urrr nurrr.

Pulled into Hull train station on time to see The Oldies stood under the Arrivals board trying to decipher when I’ll be arriving. Hugs 4 years in the waiting then crawling traffic through horrible rush hour traffic to home, via the chip shop (got to live up to stereotypes).

The Twist

Lovely night’s sleep catching up on the lost day, then out after breakfast to catch up with Sissyface and family to watch my niece play football. Started to feel a bit achy and tired later in the day, with a bit of headache. Surely just jetlag and fallout from carrying a heavy rucksack around?

Second night is a poor night’s sleep, hard to shift headache and stiff neck. Are you thinking what I’m thinking at this point? Yep, took out the test kit and snotted up a storm and yes reader, it was positive.

Made it safe to The Oldies only to bring the lurgy with me that they’d tried hard for 2.5 years to avoid. Balls!

Saw this tea towel in a shop window today that nicely sums up what it’s like to own / be owned by a dog.

We – and by we I of course mean me – have a longstanding bad habit of buying more meat than we need, freezing it then forgetting about it until the freezer door won’t close properly. Multiply that by 3 freezers and an audit was well overdue.

It took several hours and mild frostbite.to both hands emptying the contents of each freezer onto a trestle table, chiselling away the ice buildup, identifying anything scorched or dating back more than 2 years and putting the new stuff back.

By the end we had a table full of meat with a purchase value of several hundred dollars, none of which I could even cook up for the dog or put out for recycling.

I’ve had to split the packs into bundles, double bag them and keep them frozen until I can put them out on bin collection day to go to landfill.

Pretty shameful state of affairs and a lesson I will learn for the future – only buy what I’m going to use that week and not be tempted by specials.

One upside is recovering most of our missing tupperware.

Well this year has been a shit sandwich so far.

The Duchess has been dealing with a string of health issues for most of the year :-

• Hiatus hernia causing difficulty eating
• Chronic hacking cough, where the diagnostic X-rays highlighted emphysema, which led to
• Pleurisy (inflammation of the sac surrounding the lungs) including a trip to ER during which they gave her codeine which caused a bad reaction, coming away with liquid morphine and unwelcome knowledge of “the pain ladder”
• Tooth dropping out, which will require a short term denture then thousands of dollars worth of treatment to fix up.

The poor lass has pretty much been bedridden for a few months, which doesn’t help your mental health or physical strength. She’s also had to put up with my cooking, though by practice I’ve improved somewhat, even managing a roast beef dinner with veg and yorkies.

It hasn’t helped that our friends next door’s lovely dog Max passed away quite suddenly.

Thankfully she’s come through the worst of the pleurisy now; able to wear a bra appears to be a good indicator of recovery. I’ve read up on supplements and dietary changes for emphysema and forcing pills and powders on her, trying to help her body fight the disease as best she can.

Alongside the health woes it’s been the wettest New Zealand Winter on record, with rain almost every day for a full 3 months. I can attest to this by the constantly muddy dog walking boots and trousers. Some days I’ve been browsing real estate sites for Brisbane property, seriously contemplating a move to warmer climes, as much for The Duchess’ lung health as actually seeing some sun, though the snakes and spiders – and lack of health care for NZ nationals – prevents more serious research.

Still, it’s now Spring, the sun is currently out – though with a side order of gale force winds – and a hope for better weather round the corner.

It’t the annual day to recognise and appreciate us socially awkward, badly dressed and pasty white IT nerds and iur ongoing battle to keep services running.

https://www.sysadminday.com/

Monday you can all go back to complaining that the Internet is being slow and asking why someone’s email hasn’t arrived like we’re psychic or something.

She’s still down after 6 weeks with a horrible hacking cough, but at least we have been able to give her a few birthday treats.

Lovely gluten free carrot cake and chocolate brownies from our super baker friend Holly, plus a pretty bouquet of flowers grown by another friend.

Now hoping for a belated birthday gift of this cough doing one.

It’s a wet Winter here in Aotearoa, that’s for sure. When you’ve got a dog you can’t avoid getting out there and giving them their exercise. Lots of drying needed when we get home, for both of us!

If ever beer goggles would be needed (which I guess is the point if blowing this up and putting it on a pub wall

Just a reminder to use as strong a password as you can remember, use different passwords for different sites (especially banking ones), don’t use a name and stick a 1 or ! at the end and definitely DON’T WRITE IT DOWN ON A POST-IT AND STICK IT TO THE MONITOR!!!